What does a woman want?

Everything happens for the first time.

Let me tell you a story that somehow personifies what women wants. Don't expect any magic or a potion that somehow you will engulf and be that Oh-So-Charming womanizer. It's a story that I heard over a mug of beer and somehow stayed with me even when the alcohol drained away from my blood.

Once upon a time when the world was ruled by the iron fist of a knight, there came a legend called king Arthur. In a battle king Arthur was defeated and was captured by King Solomon's army. The rule of the land was, a defeated king is as good as a dead wish. Before putting king Arthur to gallows, King Solomon gave him a choice; “Answer me one question correctly and if you can answer that I'll set you free give you back your kingdom”. King Arthur asked him the question that will eventually decide the fate of his people. King Solomon said, “ What does a woman want?” That's a pretty simply stuff for a person who is a King.

King Arthur said, “A woman wants money ,a woman wants to be proud of her man,a woman wants to feel successful”. King Solomon told king Arthur “I'll give you a year and then come back with the answer”. King Arthur went back to his kingdom to find a simple answer, an answer that foxes the very soul-mind-brain of a man even in the age of abundance. King Arthur gathered the noblest men and put forward the same question only to face confused looks and even more fuddled answer. As time went by, king Arthur became restless for the answer that eludes everyone. He came across a elderly lady with a hump in her back. Everyone around said if anyone could answer this, it will be her. King Arthur went to the elderly lady and asked “What women want?”. The lady replied, I'll answer you provided you marry me with the most eligible bachelor of the kingdom. The most eligible bachelor turned out to be king Arthur best friend. The King decided that, its better to die that to ruin the life of his friend. After much coaxing, the king finally agreed to give his the answer in return for his friend's hand. The elderly lady answered, “What a woman want is to take control of her life”. The elderly lady got married to King Arthur's friend. At the wedding night when his friend came for bed, he saw a beautiful princess waiting for her in bed, the old crooked lady was no where to be seen. The princess said to him, “Because you have been honest with me I'll give you two options; either you see me old at night and as a princess in the morning or as a princess at night and an old lady during day time.”

Had you been there what would have been your choice?

King Arthur's friend answered, “As you too have been true with me, I want you to decide what time you want to be a princess and what time you want to be an old lady”. The princess was so charmed by his reply and his honesty she stayed as a princess. Taking a cue from the story if we try to fit in our lives, somehow somewhere we all utter the words “I wish...” Every melodrama of the day is a matter of rejoice for tomorrow. Even when you are honest with someone and start building up expectations... nature has a crude way of grounding. We are only left with one question, “Why why and only why...” Socrates once said, “A person who can answer five whys at a go is God.” Over the period of time we forget that the only thing constant in life is “change”, all of a sudden the love flies off and we are only left with a mortal greed of gaining back that person. Do we ever ponder at what cost? Do we ever think that everything is not meant to happen. Aha!! I know the thoughts visiting your mind “If we have to lie on the laps of destiny then why try for anything”. My dear friend ask me how it feels, where it pains. But never clapper-claw anyone just because she was like that. I know its tough, in front of mirror when you stand alone you should always be able to look at your own eyes and be proud of that. How many of us can do that. You may be gulled, try a genuine effort to smile and say “ It's Ok”. Good things always happen to good people, is a thing better said than done. Like ways, marriages are made in heaven so are lightning and thunderstorm. Have faith in yourself so that someday you can smile over it rather than cry over something that you tried so hard but you couldn't make it.

Everything happens for the first time.
Everything happens for the last time also.

Stay foolish.
Stay hungry.

Happy New Year

Every time I ponder over doing something the unrelenting laziness cantors the moment. When I try to doze off, a sense of spryness engulfs the mind. Is this vegetative state we define as mind-in-action or is it an ordinate illusion from the reality. Talking about reality it very much depends upon what we want to feel and little about what others want us to perceive.

Let’s not blabber any more into the everlasting canopy of neo-reality. Let me take you through a thought of mine that intrigued me since the time I was playing with the likes of a bunch of kids whom I so effortlessly called friends. How many times we hear the same old clichéd question posed to us? Though over the stretch of time with growing number of candles in our birthday cake and apparently incrementing the age-cycle we loose the overall perspective of the answer. Answers that in childhood every kid gave with a smile, what do you want to become when you grow up? Gosh! Do we still remember the answer that used to make our neighbors envy the lucidity of our sweetness or is it that we have out grown ourselves so much that pondering over such primitive issues tickles the funny bone in our body. Either ways, it is fascinating to muse over such questions. Some call it expectation others name it facing-the-reality.

The prism of thought can be best reflected when there is light. So, when this New Year starts may be just before realizing the canopy of “resolution”, ask yourself what once you have answered so gleefully and what you are today.

What do you want to become when you grow up? Happy New Year.

Don't Break

Have u ever seen bamboo trees bend under pressure from the wind? Then u must have noticed them return gracefully to their upright or original position after the wind had died down. When I think about the bamboo tree's ability to bounce back or return to it's original position, the word resilience comes to mind. When used in reference to a person this word means the ability to readily recover from shock, depression or any other situation that stretches the limits of a person's emotions.

Have you ever felt like you are about to snap Have you ever felt like you are at your breaking point Thankfully, you have survived the experience to live to talk about it. During the experience you probably felt a mix of emotions that threatened your health. You felt emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and you most likely endured unpleasant physical symptoms. Life is a mixture of good times and bad times, happy moments and unhappy moments. The next time you are experiencing one of those bad times or unhappy moments that take you close to your breaking point bend but don't break. Try your best not to let the situation get the best of you.

A measure of hope will take you through the unpleasant ordeal. With hope for a better tomorrow or a better situation, things may not be as bad as they seem to be. The unpleasant ordeal may be easier to deal with if the end result is worth having. If the going gets tough and you are at your breaking point, show resilience. Like the bamboo tree, bend, but don't break!

Many Needs, One Life!

Humans have 9 lives.

I am smitten by the notion why on earth cats only have nine lives. It beats my contingence to reflect that the “Age of humans” is limited only with a timid life span. But digging deep into the nuances of a single and may be simple life opens the astounding sense of reality. It’s more that the usual Food, Clothes, Shelter and may be Sex that fall on the grades of humans. Some say needs some say wants; I say it’s the expression of life.

Problems due to missing 'basics' in people’s lives tend to develop over time, and so can be easily missed. Then, when the problem arises - be it anxiety, depression, addiction or some other nasty - they can't for the life of them fathom out why! It's therefore a great idea to know what your own garden needs in order to grow well, so when you see something starting to wither, you can check your list and apply the necessary nutrients.

1.The need to give and receive attention.

2. Taking heed of the mind body connection.

3. The need for purpose, goals and meaning.

4.A sense of community and making a contribution.

5. The need for challenge and creativity.

6. The need for intimacy.

7. The need to feel a sense of control.

8. The need for a sense of status.

9. The need for a sense safety and security.

It may seem that a life that meets all of these needs would be intolerably busy. But of course, one activity can meet many needs. Charity work for example, could be said to fulfill 1, 3, 4 and 5, and could contribute to 6 and 7. Walking with a friend as a pastime might go towards 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6. Generally, what this suggests, and what has been borne out by recent research, is that a more complex life is a healthier one. Then if one area of life fails or is taken away from you, your basic needs are maintained, at least in part, by those that survive.

So the message is... If your progress through life has gone a bit awry for you or a friend, check if there is petrol in the car, and that the battery is charged before going to a mechanic to have the engine taken apart!

F.I.G.H.T

Fight! Punch! Kick!
Don't bleed. Don’t' cry. Don't repent.

Since the time we are born till the time we pass away we fight with ourselves assuming that we are fighting for ourselves. These fights make us grow the world around us and eventually we shrink to that very point where we started all these fights. Life is a zero sum game. For instance, a newborn child fights for survival away from the comfort of mothers' womb with itself to accommodate itself towards the realities of the world. With the passage of time we fight with ourselves to bridge the gap between our aspirations and realities. While we mature we fight with ourselves to the extent of compromises we are ready to make. When we eventually have families we again start fighting with our aspiration and realities about what we want our kids to do. Then on later ages we fight with ourselves in accepting the realities. At the end we fight to link ourselves away from the earthly pleasure to the eternal truth that whenever there is a beginning there is an end, leaving behind a life full of struggle, a sojourn.

Just that in this fight with us we don't bleed, cry or repent only grow into different stages of life and leave behind the past as heap of experiences for others to fight.

Resurrection of a Prince

Nothing beats the survival instinct. Nothing can be scarier when the only thing left is to count the seconds; hoping it turns to minutes, wishing the minutes passes into hours and hours into days.

The ordeal started innocuously. In a country where the senses of civic authorities are a debated topic, instances like a boy drowning in a open man-hole, an old man falling into an open pit or an old lady washed away due to poor drainage system are a matter of routine news. Then, what made the news of a 6-year-old village boy from Kurukshetra falling in an uncovered pit 52 ft deep with a diameter of just 18” different?

He refused to die.

Even after staying in the claustrophobic darkness for 50 hours when millions of 6 year olds are lying in the comfort of the near ones playing in the greenery of this world exploring their innocence. He refused to die. When his friends were playing with toys and making merry. He was playing with fate and an almost assured oblivion. It all started when a 6-year-old boy named Prince from a village located in Kurukshetra in Northern India was playing with his friends inadvertently fell into an open pit dug up by the civic authorities. The time was 6 o’clock in the evening. Sitting at the nadir, 52 ft below the ground in total darkness without water food or any social help. The 6-year-old boy whose birthday is just couple of days away is hoping for a miracle or was he too young to understand the dimensions of miracles. Destiny never plays an open-ended game.

Help came in the form of efforts by the villagers after nearly 6 hours, they tried to put a rope and a bag down at the bottom so that the child can be rescued. Nothing worked out. Prince was left in his own fate. Next morning the news spread to the local authorities. The police tried its best but to no avail. A good 24 hours had passed. He was still sitting in the darkness waiting someone somehow to help him. Without food-water and a feeling of desperation the waiting continued.

He still refused to die.

The army was called in along with the doctors. The news of this boy has become headlines in all major news channels across India. People started pouring in. Psychologists, Ex-Fireman started giving the technical analysis of the case in hand. The nation was again gripped with agony. A 6-year-old boy has roused the emotions of a nation of 1.3 billion people. The doctors arranged for an oxygen supply in the pit through a pipe. A plan of action was taken. The armed forces started Operation Prince. With the guidance of 16 Engineering Corps based in Ambala, the army moved in. A well was to be dug 7 ft away from the pit, which will connect the pit through a tunnel. A CCTV camera along with a light bulb was sent in the pit. The first picture of the boy sitting in the pit was displayed. Millions of people across India were assured that the boy is alive. The tedious job of digging a well was undergoing. It was almost 30 hours. The 6-year-old boy looked at the camera with fear. The first words were “Papa, please save me!” he started crying in fear. The gate of resilience was breaking. The country ached in agony. People from all over the nation along with different places of the world started calling various news channels to pass on their prayers. The chord of 6-year-old boy touched million hearts. Food along with water and glucose was sent in to the boy. At 3 am in the morning he was sent in with chocolates. The first communication between the father and that boy took place during that time. The tide was turning. Deep sense of insecurity was somehow patched. Food was sent in. As food is universal to living species it draws so many of living organisms. Insects also came in to have a share beneath the normal grasp of humans. Millions watched in distress the 6-year-old small boy trying to get the better of a small insect. Trying to trash it by throwing moulds of sand. Even living in 21st century the resonances of the prehistoric means are so pronounced. The army kept on digging another hole. Things were going perfectly just to be interrupted by rains. There was panic everywhere. People were running not for their cover but to arrange cover for the pit so that the 6-year-old doesn’t get affected anymore. The nation skipped a beat.

Next morning things settled down for the better. When India woke up in Sunday, the only news that dotted was the fate of the little boy, the struggle of the 6-year-old. Politicians flocked in. The Prime Minister made a statement. More equipments alongwith specialists were called in. Today is Prince’s birthday. Just that he is lying 52 ft down from the surface.

He refused to die.

Morning rolled into afternoon and afternoon rolled into evening. The army completed digging the well; they were now making the tunnel. The nation was praying in Temples, Mosques, Churches, and Gurudwaras. News of prayers irrespective of age from the length and breadth of the country was coming in. It was almost 50 hours. The picture of a hand of an army man reaching the hand of Prince was euphoric to millions of people glued to the news.

He has done it. He has done it!!

A 6-year-old boy beat death with his resolve to just stay alive. In a world that is dotted by so many complexities, a small boy from a near anonymous village with only hope and resolve and may be prayers of millions just caused a miracle.

Seriously nothing beats the survival instinct.

Reserved Yet Vacant

I'm temporarily taking off the article that I've writen regarding the debate about Reservation in education. The reason is that initially i planned a two part article but eventually i decided to merge both the articles. So i'll be updating this post in next few days time.

To all those who visit my blog, please go through the earlier posts and leave your comments.

Thanks for your support for running this blogsite.

A Change That Is YOU

The smell is intoxicating me; my eyes are getting heavy and my thoughts gone for a toss. Hold on, I’m not tipsy; neither I’ve come out of an election procession, just that I have just finished a soap opera from the house of Balaji Production. Had Alfred Nobel been sitting in the couch and watching the ever going soap operas that the cable dish out, he might actually used his invention bombing the likes of these saas-baahu serials. What amazes me most is the amount of fan following these serials generate? To refresh the mind of the avid viewers as well as those of you who are quite alien of these facet of our culture I would like to give you my take on these.

Don’t know how to start; actually it was out of curiosity that I have started watching these serials. The expensive costumes, the highly dramatize acting, the matrix like fighting and the trio of “Anger-Jealousy-Tear” exactly in that sequence, coupled with three times slow-motion of a scene makes our industry a genre apart. Even though the story line ends up being in predictive lines, the writers are smart enough to create new dimensions and that too in matter of days even at times minutes. On a last count a very famous serial was having at least 7 directors shooting at the same time but with different plots. I thought we all should learn the art of multitasking from them, Is Bill listening? There is as if a mathematical relationship between the name and the starting letter. Each Balaji Production has to start with the letter “K”, with each serial having an extra “a” or “e” or “I” in their nomenclature. Surly some people make it a point to show that they are good in alphabets too!

The story line hardly matters rather than the name should be numerologically perfect. This lead to my next part of the post which about a story that I have heard while I was a kid from my grandpa. He used to tell me that it is based on his friend’s life.

He is Mukul, a very ordinary boy staying in a very ordinary village in East India under British India. Born exactly 100 years back when the best a man could buy is the dream for independence. He was not a very good student, neither was he excellent in anything. As I’ve said, a very ordinary boy. But one thing that stood out is his tenacity. Mukul was then in class VIII, pretty heavy for his small head. The books hardly made any sense, rather the likes of Mangal Pandey was his hero. Oho! I forgot to tell you about his family. Mukul was the youngest child of the family. He had one elder sister who eventually expired when she was just 12 years because of bleeding while giving birth to a still-born child. Mukul was 6 years old then, a year later his mother expired. The world collapsed for him. There is only his Baba left to support him. Mukul was in class VIII; he had a passion for football. He left the school to join the local coaching club. He used to come everyday in the morning at 7 am and practiced till 5 pm taking couple of hours of break for lunch. His Baba always aspired that his Mukul will one day bring pride to the village by becoming a good player. Everyday Mukul used to come for the practice along with his father, who used to sit at the bench wearing the black glasses under the mango tree. With every passing day Mukul tried to improve his play, but he was never taken into the first 11 of any match. He kept on trying for 3 years. In these three years he used to come in the morning for practice and his father would silently sit in the bench. But in these three years he never got a chance to play. At times his coach used to tell Mukul that he is not good enough than the rest of the boys. But he never gave up. One day he went to his coach and urged him, “Please sir, let me play in today’s match”. His coach replied,” today is final match and I can’t take chance”. Mukul was adamant; he went on insisting that his coach should take him in the first 11. After a great deal of conciliation the Coach agreed, but told Mukul that he will play only for first 20 mins. That 20 minutes changed the complexion of the match, Mukul scored 3 goals in first 20 minutes, his coach didn’t replace him and at the end of the match Mukul scored 8 goals setting a record. The victory was euphoric, the entire village was proud of Mukul. His fathers dream came true. “Mukul… Mukul, where is your Baba” Coach asked. “Sir, the man who used to sit in that bench watching me practice from 7 in the morning to 5 in the evening was blind. He was my Baba. He had faith in me that I’d one day make everyone proud by playing. Sir, he expired in the morning and today I played so that he can see me playing a match from the skies above”.

Believe and self-conviction can change lives. It is for you to understand how capable you are.