Through the Prism of our thoughts

Decisions becomes difficult when I try to see through them.

There has been a gradual comfort in my life thanks largely to my parents. Most of the people I see around would be content with this. And this is what is troubling me.

I do have more than couple of houses to stay in, have a car and have a decent job to take care of my finances and my "Incredible India" travels every quarter. I have great friends to catch up with and a near decent life.

This is exactly what is troubling me. I am gradually getting into a comfort zone. Which brings me to the unattainable question, am I missing the purpose? Am I being cocoon-ed in a Matrix?

When you leave one thing for something you are in a cusp. In there lies the zone of contemplation. Typical what-if-scenarious. Today when I see myself and my life in general I gradually feel I am moving away from the very fire that keeps burning. I have lost touch with so many things but surely I wrap my pretensions and the power of gab glides me through. Whom am I fooling? It's always the hand that gets burned which holds on to a burning rod. The trick is not to pass but to cast the rod into something.

Still I am searching a ready made dose of comfort. When I start something I expect to inherit my current happiness. Surely that would be like the cinderella story everyone grows up with, just that there is no more prince charming!

Well, I have stayed alone for some part of my life and that gave me a very good insight. I love myself a lot. It may not be a sign of selfishness, but surely this create a distraction. I hail from a part of the country that strongly believes (at least till yesterday) on socialism and communist principle. I have seen people all around me living in a minimalistic approach (may be perils of over three decades of minimalistic thinking). The other day I was driving and under the scotching heat of 42`c I see an bicycle riding in the middle of the road. I get my pane down and request the guy to ride on one side rather than slowing the traffic. You know what answer I got - "I am poor that's why you are telling me". Man, what does this say. I just have a word with a person twice my age riding in the middle of the roads and this is what the response!

I find a stark haves and haves not mentality. I dwell on these facets, then I realize this can happen when anyone has lost hope and belief in oneself. Every single human being wants to be important, that's hard coded in our primitive cerebral. It didn't change since the first homo sapeins to the 21st century humans. The size of brian remained same even after 10,000 years of evolution, what changed is the depth of the thoughts.

And in these very thoughts I try to see change. A decision to bring change, something to live for and may be to die with. I am blessed with the goodness of my near and dear ones. Still I want to break free, still I want to live a purpose. Just that I don't know what it is!

May be in some point of your life you will face these questions. May be your thoughts will give you a better measured response and may be if your decision works out good the by the theory of natural selection you will help us as a species evolve in a greater way.

Till that time, through the Prism of our thoughts I try to see a change!

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